Variations at the Assisted Living Place

And now, for something completely different. I spent several years visiting my dear Aunt Joan at various assisted living places. The cast of characters was endlessly fascinating…sad, happy, glorious, excruciating all at once. One day, I put some of them into…an opera? a vaudeville show? I don’t know what. If you know, please tell me.

MAIN THEME

     In the main lounge of the dementia unit in the afternoon, residents sing If You Knew Suzie Like I Knew Suzie, Oh, Oh, Oh What a Gal along with the piano player.  One of the residents, Lucie, 85, wears a lovely cardigan sweater with flower appliqués and large pockets.  She moves around the room with the assurance of a lifetime of good fortune, graciously commenting, ‘isn’t the music divine’ and ‘oh, what a beautiful day’ and ‘my, your hair looks lovely!’

COUNTERPOINT

As the piano entertainer guy begins Tiptoe Through the Tulips with a flashy arpeggio, Lucie wanders over to a corner of the dining room, glances furtively around the room, then stuffs a handful of silverware into her pocket.

SYNCOPATION 

PAPA pipes up.  They call him that because he’s the kind old guy who loves to wipe the tables and sweep the floors.  He likes being busy.  His kids bring a jug of red wine every few weeks so he can have his two glasses a day.  He’s always watching.

In the lounge, you know, the lounge, of the dementia place

I saw Lucie, you know her, you know her, right?

She dresses nice, so nice and strolls around like she

runs, like she runs the joint, know what I mean?

Know what I mean?

She’s smooth,

Oh man, she’s smooth

I’m sayin’ smooth as silk

BEBOP  

VERA is old-school. She don’t miss a thing. Taps her foot to some inside tune, smile on her face.

the piano

                         ba-da-bum-de-bang

the residents singing

                        like on the front stoop

                         da-bum-de-bang

but Lucie

                         Lucie? you mean the one from uptown?

that’s her

                         She there now?

Oh yes, Oh my, yes.

                         my, yes

Yes, yes.

FUGUE         

     TUTTI

The piano plays some favorite old songs

                                     some favorite old songs in the key of C

                                                                              the key of C is much too high for all the old ladies 

It should have been in F, a far better key, yes

a far better key for old ladies and little wonder why…all those vocal chords shot to hell from years of silence

                     to hell from years

                                  from years

                                  from years and years of silence

WAY OUT JAZZ  

BERT never sang in his old life. In this life he never stops “Sing My Yiddishe Mama!”  he calls out with glee:

Oh h-o-w?  oh yeah, h-o-w?!?

in the a-f-t-e-r-n-o-o-n of any noon

would…oh yeah…

Yes, man

that old OLD lady…

know the one I mean?

hell yeah!

s-u-r-p-r-i-s-e-d

THE SHIT

outta

ME

TOO!

BAROQUE   

THE AIDES pour the juice every day at 10, change the nappies, serve the meals, soothe the agitated, liven up the sleepy, say yes to the boss, then go home to the family, tired.

In the very lovely lounge

where the minds have learned to scrounge

for every scrap of memory

or meaning that was ever there

ever there

and so, such shock

for such a grande old dame

like Lucie

to steal the silverware!

to steal the sil. ver. ware!!

CODA:  And she can’t even use it so

             she stuffs it in a drawer in her stuffy little room!

             What a shame!

OPERA 

           

LUCIE:  SHAME!! SHAME!!  after Paris and New York and cocktails and travel, how could you leave me

                   here?  To ROT!! surrounded by nothingness…you understand? NOTHING-NESS!! 

     Is it so bad, then, that I steal things now and then?  What else is there to do to relieve the

     Hellish Void?

     CHORUS (PAPA, ANITA, MAUREEN, BERT): 

                  TEMPUS FUGIT

                  and will we not, the rest of us,

                the rest of us

                  one day, sooner than we think

                will we not join Lucie in that Hellish Void?

                  Sell your silverware now!  You can’t take it with you!

                   You can’t take it with you!

LIGHT OPERA

     LUCIE:      I am the very daughter

of the Baron Blitz Von Otter

                        My decorum was the best

                        I out-decorumed all the rest

                        But alas, poor me, I landed

                        and am now obscenely stranded

                        in this grim assisted living

                        and I’m asking for forgiving

lest the insults be unfurling

                        that I lifted all the sterling

                        but you see I’ve lost my mind

and I ask you to be kind 

CHORUS:      She is the very daughter

            of the Baron Blitz Von Otter

            and she asks that we be kind

                       We can see she’s lost her mind

            Yes, she asks that we be kind

                      We can see she’s lost her mind

EXEUNT OMNES

Yes, above all, let’s be kind.

•••••

Most of the art you see on these pages will show up on shop.sullyarts.com. I’m in the slow process of cataloguing my work. Visit and enjoy the tour! If you don’t see an image you’d like, let me know!